The $7 Warhammer Fantasy Battle Dwarf Gyrobomber / Gyrocopter (So Far)

So when we last heard from Hungry Ghosts he went on a little rant about letting Beardlings play with expensive assault weaponry. Now the Dwarf Gyrobomber / Gyrocopter has hit the Bits Factory, and Hungry Ghosts has gone scavenging. Let's see what we got ourselves.

 

The first foray into buying us a Bomber brought forth a functional bonanza. Here we have a good chunk of the Gyrobomber. We have the Cockpit interior and exterior. We have the shooty things that go on the front and sides of the Pilot-Pod (Guns and Canards, according to the Bits Merchant). Then the main tail section of the Bomber, along with the Rear Rotor System.

So $5.87 spent so far. Now we are obviously missing some important parts, most obviousestibly the Main Rotor. Also the two extra rows of Bombs. No Pilot neiver, but we got plenty of eager Squats to fill that seat.

But let's be realistic: Hungry Ghosts wants those Pilot Heads.

Anyway, what if we want to make the much less exciting Gyrocopter instead of the super-blasty Gyrobomber?

 We got us the main Gyrocopter Engine and Tail section too.

But let's go back to the issue of Dwarf Heads and Realisticism. Remember, through the Misty Mountains of foggy Time, beset by Storm Giants hurling boulders in our general direction; are they at play, or are they angry at our trespass upon their territory? The inside of the mountain is Ours, the outside they claim mastery over. Mighty Eagles disagree, and woe unto the Storm Giant whose boulder disturbs a Dragon -- but clearly, this has gone on too long.

'Tis rare that a race receive an update so soon in the World of Warhammer, that is, unless you are a Space Marine. Eldrad Ulthuan, he of the mighty staff of easy breakage, and the Eldar Phoenix Lords, they who bear the gigantic heads, new and exciting releases for Warhammer 40K... 2nd Edition. Seriously, 21 years old. Real life people have been born, grown up, and fought in real life combat since these fellows were let loose on the tabletop. 

I, for one, am happy for Finecast...my ancient neck could ne'er otherwise kept my ginormous head aloft.

 The Dwarfs were offered as a bold bargain in the Skull Pass starter box, along with a crazy horde of Goblins, over 100 miniatures, rule book, and some versions even came with paints and a brush to provide the full gateway drug to $20 character models and $60 plastic dragons. But...

Continuing along a grotesque path almost as old as Eldrad, by the time Skull Pass came to be, our Dwarfs were naught but a giant bearded head with feet sticking out the bottom.

There may have been some ridiculous axes involved as well.

What could be done? A radical course correction? Yes, let's try that.

2006 Skull Pass Miner's Head, meet 2014 Ironbreaker's Heads.

Bigger than Bombs!

Of course, those Skull Pass bargain armies may not mix well with the new range of stout plastic warriors. A price must be paid for such realistic heads, a price of $50 for your 10 Ironbreakers. For the price of the Battle for Skull Pass starter box, you can get a box of them Ironbreakers and a model from the Lords and Heroes selection. Just make sure it's an old beard-with-feet version because the new range go for $6 more. But they are made of plastic now, and that's made from dinosaurs, so it's totally worth the price.

Anyway, here's our $25 Space Marines Stormtalon. We need some Assault Cannons maybe, but I probably have some already. Figgering out the clear plastic canopy could be a bit more challenging, if we didn't have plenty of clear plastic bits of various sizes around here as well. But that's part of the fun. Hungry Ghosts has so many, many vehicles and critters of all sorts to assemble and paint, there's no need to plunk down $45 for a couple of sprues of plastic...sorry, for a multi-part plastic boxed set containing 90(!) components...that's going to sit on a shelf for nobody knows how many years. The thrill of the hunt.....

The [Tau] Empire Strikes A Curious Resemblance.

 

These are not the Tau Fire Warriors you're looking for...

 Move along...

Really now. We're not even listening.

 Did that head close? 

We're not sure what head you're talking about.

We admit nothing.

Keep your grubby paws off of our Space MarinesTM(C);No Backsies;TSNHH*.

*Totally Seriously Never Heard of a Heinlein.

Of Space Marines and Armadillos

By now, the story of Games Workshop's attempt to envelope the well-worn term "Space Marine" in its intellectual property dungeon is well-known. Hungry Ghosts is not interested replaying the indignant arguments against this action. While, yes, Hungry Ghosts is wordy, he also likes to let pictures do the talking.

So let us turn back the clock to an earlier time, when GW was not so keen on respecting intellectual property rights. The year is early 1989. The scene is the back cover of White Dwarf 110. The crime is unlicensed and unattributed use of the intellectual property of another for commercial purposes.

 Here we have a merry band of Space Marines who have found themselves a nice tank. But where did they find that tank? Why, they found it on the shelves of the local toy store. Because it is the Armadillo Mini-Tank from the GI Joe series of action figures made by Hasbro. 

The Armadillo was originally released in 1985, and was available in various forms throughout the rest of the 1980s, and came back in the late 2000s. The Armadillo appeared in the GI Joe cartoon, comic book, television commercials, trading cards... So many places that it is almost impossible to believe that Games Workshop did not know that they were using a product from one of the most popular toy lines of the time manufactured by one of the world's largest toy companies.

But...

It seems that our Armadillo, known to thousands and thousands of boys as the GI Joe Armadillo, quite the popular choice for battlegrounds such as my backyard, is merely a "converted...toy tank model". As opposed to an IP-protected commercially successful product that should have been licensed for use from Hasbro. Or at least identified as what it was. I knew exactly what it was when I bought my copy of White Dwarf 110 in 1989, as my own Armadillo was lurking somewhere in my closet, and even then wondered how GW could use such a popular product for its own purposes without noting what it was.

Now, we do get told that the tank was "converted". But that converting consists mostly of painting it black and removing the roll bar. Or maybe the roll bar got lost, as YoJoe.com points out that it was an easy-to-lose piece.

Here is our link to YoJoe.com, containing a wealth of information about our Armadillo, including a nice Left Front Isometric picture of the tank from the same point of view as the White Dwarf photo.

(It also has a picture of the cover of GI Joe issue 37, featuring the Armadillo being airlifted under the Dragonfly helicopter over an amusement park with Flint leaping off to attack Xamot at the top of a roller coaster. Yeah. Despite Xamot's machine gun pointed his way. And Flint having an M16 and pistol. And the multitude of weaponry on the tank and the assault helicopter.)

http://www.yojoe.com/vehicles/85/armadillo/

Are we being unfair? Are we picking on the little guy, just trying to make it in a tough market? Should we think that maybe GW didn't have the intellectual property savoir-faire to know what it was doing?

Nah. There's the first page of White Dwarf 110, with a slew of IP notices. Games Workshop had already licensed the IP of many other companies - Judge Dredd, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek, Runequest, Dr Who, Paranoia, Lone Wolf, Dungeons & Dragons, Eternal Champion... in fact GW got its start as a licensed distributor of US roleplaying games for the UK market.

We could say that the Armadillo was an "oops" moment. But that would mean that we'd have to ignore all of the pieces of Zoids, Transformers, Macross, Gundam, and other toy lines that made frequent appearances in Warhammer 40K photos in the late 1980s and early 1990s. And Dark Future, a game blatantly based on a certain popular film series that was nearly unplayable without unlicensed use of Matchbox and Hot Wheels toys.

 So, Games Workshop, stop being a dick. Space Marines existed decades before you did, and you had no compunctions about encouraging the use of the intellectual property of others to fill the gaps in your own product lines for years, despite your full awareness of intellectual property rights.

Mark Ratner, 1977, FanTac Games (picture not taken by me)

Epic Space Marines Drop Pod, first version, from 1991 Blue Citadel Catalog

http://solegends.com/citcat19911/c2122epicimptanks-00.htm

Fleas the Size of Rats Sucked on Rats the Size of Cats: Citadel Scale-Creep

Hungry Ghosts just got a few of the latest edition of Imperial Guard Ratlings, and they are quite robust fellows. We'll let the pictures do most of the talking...

 And ten thousand peoploids split into small tribes...

Squat Adeptus Mechanicus flanked by Ratlings Mark 3 flanked by Ratlings Mark 1, and a wee little Marauder Miniatures Halfling stuffing his mouth at the left end.

Cute how they kept the traditional Ratling poses. Not so cute how the new Ratling looks like he could eat the old Ratling and still be scrounging through your fridge for leftovers. It's always Hunger City when you're a grotesquely large mutant Ratling.

Could strap that halfling onto the rifle instead of the scope. Scope's less greasy though. Less gassy as well. Doesn't want you to guess how many cheesy puffs he can fit into his mouth...whose idea was it to use the halfling instead of the scope?

Steel Legion Officer, Mighty Ratling, Drunk Dwarf Miner, Scrawny Space Dwarf, 

Embarrassingly Large Gotrek Gurnisson, 

Embarrassingly Small Space Marine Captain with Terminator Honors.

R.O.U.S.'s? Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.

Power Fist, Dwarf Fist;

 A Steel Legionnaire becomes 

Delicate flower.

But I'm a Terminator! Chaos Terminator! Eye of Terror Terminator!

I'm a HORSE! Quit whining.

This is why the Iron Claw Squats Hover Car is also known as the Halfling Cloud Car.

This is why Squats and Scrunts don't mix.

Chaos Squats Hero on Black Shadow: Taming the Rust Monster

Here we have another Chaos-Squatified Imperial Guard Special Character, this time the Attilan Commander Mogul Kamir. Like the others, the Hungry Ghosts incarnation swaps the horse for a motorcycle. Unlike the others, this Chaos Squat has the body of the dreaded Rust Monster (from the mid-80s Citadel Advanced Dungeons & Dragons series). He has been renamed Gemist Knarst and integrated firmly into a Vincent Black Shadow with floppy weak legs (Tyranid Spore Mine tentacles) so he cannot escape.

Your basic Rust Monster is a bunch of lumpy rocks and probing antennae. Plus the mysterious propeller tail. So it was a fairly obvious idea to provide some additional probing antennae (from the Dark Eldar Talos) and other sensors from some Eldar, Dwarfs, and Battlefleet Gothic. The lumpy rock pattern was amplified with some Lizard Men Saurus Shields covering the back tire, the top of a Nid Spore Mine, a Tomb Kings Standard top, and a heavy-on-the-rivets Dwarf war-machine bit from the WFB 7th edition boxed rules set.

But then there's the face. The Rust Monster has a tiny almost unnoticeable head, relying on touch instead of sight. Which is a bit preposterous for a cyclist. And so I expanded on that foundation of preposterity: I had a sprue of the plastic Space Dwarfs with a miscast head, just the front half with melted facial features. Someone less silly would have tossed it aside, but I saved it for many years, until it could be nestled between the Rust Monster antennae to form a blind mutant biker. There was also room for a ridge of hair (Trolls) and some cyber-sensors.

However, that melted face blind biker demanded a bike with multiple fully formed faces. The Tomb Kings Standard provided 6 nice skulls, and a ridge of spiky tooth-shapes similar to those on the Saurus shields. Pointing the way is a pointy-nosed goblin-faced metal shield from the 1987 assortment.

Since I don't know the meaning of "too many", an armored Gnoblar Head was slapped on the front of the Dwarf war machine bit. And a couple more heads are dragging from ropes in the rear (Vampire Counts). The ropey pattern of their ropes along with the similar styling on the Dwarf Machine accentuate the ropey look of the Rust Monster tail.

And that is how you ensure you don't finish painting your tanks.

Ourse Beeruin: Terror Bears Nork Deddog Replacement

Proof that Hungry Ghosts actually finishes something. I have always hated the 40K Ogryn, so the quest to complete Chaos Squats versions of all of the Imperial Guard special characters was not going to involve any Space Ogres.

But Hungry Ghosts has also loved his little Terror Bears since they were released by Dark Horse Miniatures in 1985. So using the mental heuristic "do the opposite", one giant stupid Ogryn was replaced 3 vicious little bears. Adorable yet deadly. Still, they have been given one single name as the act as a single character. One suggestive of beer and ruins as well as bears.

So now we have a nice mini-diorama. The Ogryn-size base is large enough for all 3 bears and a Space Marine Casualty/Lunch mini from the late 1980s, with leg (accidentally) broken off. The Terror Bears are small enough to fit nicely within the Marine's sprawled arms and legs.

Also crammed on the base is a Lamp Post from the Cities of Death set, and a metal sign bit from a Champion of Nurgle with the bird snipped off. Thus, my obsession with filling up the entire base for a model has been sated.

My plan was to use the Terror Bears in a manner that fits their different poses. Pain Bear with his raised arms was placed in the center, using the ancient tactic of creating the illusion of being larger to frighten off enemies. Doom Bear is behind the lamp, his pose is one of a tilted observer.

Fear Bear has a bit of a strange stance. His sharp teeth are clearly emphasized, his arms are stretched out, but not completely, with his claws turned inward. Fear Bear either just landed from a jump from a high location, or should be holding something. Since I wanted to keep the bears as a unified force, I opted for the "holding something" position to avoid suggesting he just dropped down to join Pain Bear and Doom Bear.

What's Fear Bear got? Space Dwarf Head. Since all Squats and Squat bits must appear in the Hungry Ghosts army at some point, the plastic Helmet Head needed to be used. The original plan was to use it on a plastic body, but that body now has a Chaos Terminator Head on it.

Plus the size of Fear Bear's arms and the Squat head could be positioned so Fear Bear seems to be talking to the severed head, which adds to the creepiness of the Terror Bears. It also serves as proof that there will be no special treatment of ordinary Squats by the Chaos Squats. And to use more red.

I wanted to give this creation a height near that of the Ogryn it represents, but at the same time did not want to distract the focus from the Terror Bears. So the Lamp Post was painted in greys and blues, both to meld into the color of the sky and to blend with the black base and blue armor of the dead Ultramarine. This was fortuitously enhanced by the broken leg, placed next to the Lamp Post and Marine to provide an intermediate height level for the transition from lamp to Marine to base. And, like the Lamp Post rising above, the Bolt Pistol was painted grey, fading out to white as it crosses the boundary of the base.

This process is one of the interesting paradoxes of military miniature painting. You want the Lamp to be noticeable (because it looks awesome) but at the same time not too noticeable. Similarly, in real-life military gear and vehicles, you want to camouflage your soldiers and vehicles with proper color choice and use of materials to break-up the shape of the human body or tank. With military miniatures, however, you want your work to be attention-grabbing. So how do you make something both camouflaged and irregularly shaped and visible and identifiable at the same time?

Paradoxes aside, an all-blue Space Marine is boring, and Space Marines don't seem to care about camouflage. So most of the torso of the Ultramarine was painted in the yellow also favored by the Ultramarines, with brown shading, some nice red blood from the bullet holes in the chest, along with red studs on the shoulder pad. Red was also used for the eyes of the Terror Bears, as we are still working with furry little Khorne worshipers.

The Ultramarine was given a tan skin color somewhere between the yellow of the shoulder pad and the brown of the Bears and Sign Post. This serves to provide a bridge from Pain Bear to the Sign Post.

From the back side, we can see just how cozy the bears are with each other. Doom Bear's left arm wraps around the Lamp Post toward Pain Bear while the right arm nestles under Fear Bear's arm. Pain Bear's threat-pose is angled toward the Sign Post, which is painted in the same colors as the Bears. The dead Ultramarine's arm is also visible, extending across the base of the lamp.

Cropping out the upper Lamp Post shows the unified positioning of the Terror Bears and their sign. For you TMNT experts out there, the sign represents the fourth Terror Bear, Nightmare Bear, who disappeared at some point in the past 27 years. I feel old.

Which Sign Post is tough to get a good picture of in detail, but says "TERRER BEARS" on it in red. (Bears can't spell, and neither can the Ogryn they represent)

Overall, we have a nice example of two of the Hungry Ghosts principles of miniature design:
1. Use the base, all of the base. It's not just there to prevent the mini from falling down.
2. Chaos, Khorne, or whatever else, do not fear to use all colors from black to white in a single miniature. Just use them in the right proportions to achieve your artistic goals.

This illustration shows all four Terror Bears. Nightmare Bear is at the lower left. Fear Bear is shown with an Edvard Munch man rising out of his skull, which unfortunately does not appear on the miniature. The picture is by Eastman & Laird, creator of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and the Terror Bears. I believe it is from one of the TMNT Role-playing Game books from Palladium, not the comic book.

This one is by a fan of the Terror Bears, though I am not sure who, and is too much fun to not include.

Terror Bears in the blister pack. Nightmare Bear strangely has different proportions from the other Bears, both in body and base. Looks a bit more like a Terror Monkey with that arm-to-leg ration and slim torso.

Space Marines Before Warhammer 40K: A New Page in the Book of Grudges

Just a little fun with the creative originality of Space Marines and the trademark status of the term. This is by Mark Rattner, published 1977. Look, Drop Pods!

Why poke the Imperium? Because Squats do not forgive or forget, but prefer to relive the insults and fuel the grudge-engines. Thus:

White Dwarf 240 (January 2000)

This is the issue that spawned forth the lies about the extinction of the Squats, in the Mailbox page (p. 97). The letter and response are below.

Letter from Concerned Squats Commander

“WE WANT SQUATS!
Sorry, I just assumed this was how most people have been reacting since the Squats were dropped from the 40K universe. This race was the reason I joined the Games Workshop family in the first place. If I was so impatient back in mid-2nd edition and started collecting my second choice army (Space Marines), I would have quickly lost interest and never became the obsessed freak over the game that I am today.

The history and characteristics of the Squats are interesting and unique in the 40K universe. In the 2nd edition rules they were a mix of Orks, Imperial Guard, and Space Marines... with a grudge! The honor, toughness, and excellent weaponry (I would have loved to see a Mole Mortar in action) were the big draws to this under-appreciated army. Also, something very cool about the 40K universe was the fact that it was a sci-fi mirror of the Fantasy world. Nearly every race from Fantasy had its high-tech cousins represented in the 'far, distant future', and that's how the people liked it! Would you even consider robbing the Fantasy world of Dwarfs. With their wonderful weapons and bitter-sweet rivalry with the Elves? I don't think so! Nor should we players of 40K have to do without. Just the humble opinion of one dedicated fan. Tim Gutierrez”

Response from Games Workshop

“Would you believe they were all eaten by the Tyranid invasion? Or, due to the Squats biker life style, everyone of the was arrested for disturbing the peace and sacrificed to the Emperor. Where do you think they get all of those souls anyway? All kidding aside, it doesn't seem likely the Squats will ever again see the light of day. When they were out they never seemed very popular, showed up at our stores, or tournaments, and didn't sell on top of all that [Note that this claim is directly contradicted by Jervis Johnson in 2002]. Their look was really outdated compared to the hundreds of other great Warhammer 40,000 models. Don't send us hate mail, it's just the cold hard facts of the 41st Millennium.”

Commentary from Hungry Ghosts

Would you believe you sound like a huge dick? All kidding aside, this is a flippant and disrespectful response to a devoted and enthusiastic customer about a favorite product. Comments like this are why there is so much Internet Hate for Games Workshop.

But let's make it clear: the “Eaten by Tyranids” comment is not Warhammer 40K Canon. It is just an asinine comment by an unidentified GW employee who does not understand:
1. Squats (very few of them have a Biker lifestyle, and the comment about the lifestyle is insulting to actual real world human bikers),
2. GW's business (Squats were not selling poorly),
3. or customer service (the sarcastic tone of the response).
Let us also make it clear: Based on our source above, there is an equal chance that “The Emperor Ate All The Squats” as “The Tyranids Ate All The Squats”.

And never forget this admission:

The Book of Grudges will never run out of pages.

Even I Don't Know What to Name This One

Alrighty, let's remind ourselves that we can actually finish something, especially since the last Chaos Squats Census found 50 or so partly assembled, painted, etceteraed Squats and hangers-on. An we shall not speak of all those Plague Marines, World Eaters, Eldar. Especially the Eldar.

But did Hungry Ghold Leader stay on target? No. No way, he took the shortcut to 1-up mushrooms on the desert world of Level 2...erm, Tatooine. Um. Allusion collision. Chaos can get confusing.

So we start with an innocent round heavy weapons/dreadnought size base. Being a bit tired of the blackened Eternal War theme of the Hungry Ghosts bases, and having many interesting shaped Alien Plants from Armorcast, a thorny menacingly large desert plant was placed on the base.

The plant came in two pieces, the ridged middle section and the thorn-tipped large-leaf section. This included an integral base, of a sandy texture, with several smaller plants, some disturbingly brain-shaped. The oblong shape jutted out from the Warhammer base, while leaving parts of it exposed.

As we all know, those luscious succulent bulgy leaves and that ripply broccoli-clustered central stalk contain enough water to fill many a stillsuit. And a chance to work with textures not commonly associated with Chaos Squats.

To tempt the thirsty, the bulging leaves were painted with a green pattern similar to the watermelon, protected by hard red thorns in an inversion of the softness of the red inside of the watermelon. The central stalk was painted an inviting green as well, while the sharp scalloped ridges were painted Don't-Touch-Me Orange, protecting the water of our desert plant. Pretty much a mix of the color schemes of the watermelon and the pumpkin.

But let's not be silly. You're wondering who is coming 'round that bend.

It's rats, more rats. Citadel just keeps pumping out new rats to fill my bases. As we can see, there are three.

First, let's engage in some self-applause, for deciding not to include an entire squad of Ratlings in the Hungry Ghosts Army. Our littlest Rogue Trader Mercenary, Shorty, was repurposed as cavalry, through a mere snip of the slotta tab.

Given the rat-fetish of Hungry Ghosts, the Skaven Rat Centaur needed prominent treatment. So the Rat-Centaur was not only made into the mount for Shorty Mario, he was also given his own bolt pistol. Both Ratling and Rat-Taur were painted in color schemes that provide camouflage in the desert world they roam.

Since the base of the Space Cactus provided some empty space, the pair could also be positioned behind a mix of the smaller plants molded in the base, painted a similar mix of oranges and yellows. The striped leaf pattern was echoed by the striped tail on the Rat-Taur, while the pointy nose, pointy tail, and pointy horn on the head go nicely with the thorny bits of the Space Cactus.

Unable to resist the addition of bits, Mario has been given a banner atop his backpack, from one of the plastic Army bits from the 1990 edition of Mighty Empires. This helps to provide a nice diagonal going from the Rat-Taur's pistol and head bits, continuing with Mario's head and pistol, rising with the banner pole, and reaching toward the Cactus Stalk (which would otherwise really stick out of the mini-diorama).

Meanwhile, the curved ammo-clips and small wavy banner bit make a nice match with the scalloped shaped parts of the main plant. Yellow was used to unify the tops of the bits- the Rat-Taur's horn, Mario's helmet, and small banner. Yellow was also used for much of Mario's gear, and for the highlights of the smaller plants on the base.

But a tension was also purposefully created- the Rat-Taur has a trio of tumors, a bright yellow gift of Nurgle, while Mario is quite obviously in a quest for new life, as his Mushroom Banner shows. The colors of the Mushroom Banner also blend in with the leaves of the Space Cactus. The red thorns and the various dark grey areas were given white or close to white glossy highlights, fitting with the 1-UP Mushroom.

Our hero is being trailed by a camouflaged critter of the desert, waiting for a chance to bite off a bit of Rat-Taur tail. Painted in the same orange-yellow tones of the small brain-looking plants, and of similar size, the critter is one of the larger members of the Tyranid Squig range. He also fills in an area of exposed base.

From a different angle, we can see the other mutant space rat on the mission, another of the older metal Skaven rats, with a pointy artificial leg attached to a tube full of poison. This rat was painted very bright yellow, just because I haven't used that old Bad Moon Yellow for a while.

The Bad Moon Rat's poison mechanism wraps around his body and along his tail, making him dangerous from either end. Like most of my creations, the color palette ranges across the spectrum from white to black and just about everything in between.

From above, the overall effect of bits added to the mini-diorama nicely fills the available space. The area at the bottom of the picture is another thick green plant, topped by a rusted and worn-down Space Marine helmet, one from the ancient RTB01 Mark 6 Beakies hollowed out, with its faded colors blending with the greens and reds of the Space Cactus.

That Space Marine did not find his Green Mushroom in time.