The $7 Warhammer Fantasy Battle Dwarf Gyrobomber / Gyrocopter (So Far)

So when we last heard from Hungry Ghosts he went on a little rant about letting Beardlings play with expensive assault weaponry. Now the Dwarf Gyrobomber / Gyrocopter has hit the Bits Factory, and Hungry Ghosts has gone scavenging. Let's see what we got ourselves.

 

The first foray into buying us a Bomber brought forth a functional bonanza. Here we have a good chunk of the Gyrobomber. We have the Cockpit interior and exterior. We have the shooty things that go on the front and sides of the Pilot-Pod (Guns and Canards, according to the Bits Merchant). Then the main tail section of the Bomber, along with the Rear Rotor System.

So $5.87 spent so far. Now we are obviously missing some important parts, most obviousestibly the Main Rotor. Also the two extra rows of Bombs. No Pilot neiver, but we got plenty of eager Squats to fill that seat.

But let's be realistic: Hungry Ghosts wants those Pilot Heads.

Anyway, what if we want to make the much less exciting Gyrocopter instead of the super-blasty Gyrobomber?

 We got us the main Gyrocopter Engine and Tail section too.

But let's go back to the issue of Dwarf Heads and Realisticism. Remember, through the Misty Mountains of foggy Time, beset by Storm Giants hurling boulders in our general direction; are they at play, or are they angry at our trespass upon their territory? The inside of the mountain is Ours, the outside they claim mastery over. Mighty Eagles disagree, and woe unto the Storm Giant whose boulder disturbs a Dragon -- but clearly, this has gone on too long.

'Tis rare that a race receive an update so soon in the World of Warhammer, that is, unless you are a Space Marine. Eldrad Ulthuan, he of the mighty staff of easy breakage, and the Eldar Phoenix Lords, they who bear the gigantic heads, new and exciting releases for Warhammer 40K... 2nd Edition. Seriously, 21 years old. Real life people have been born, grown up, and fought in real life combat since these fellows were let loose on the tabletop. 

I, for one, am happy for Finecast...my ancient neck could ne'er otherwise kept my ginormous head aloft.

 The Dwarfs were offered as a bold bargain in the Skull Pass starter box, along with a crazy horde of Goblins, over 100 miniatures, rule book, and some versions even came with paints and a brush to provide the full gateway drug to $20 character models and $60 plastic dragons. But...

Continuing along a grotesque path almost as old as Eldrad, by the time Skull Pass came to be, our Dwarfs were naught but a giant bearded head with feet sticking out the bottom.

There may have been some ridiculous axes involved as well.

What could be done? A radical course correction? Yes, let's try that.

2006 Skull Pass Miner's Head, meet 2014 Ironbreaker's Heads.

Bigger than Bombs!

Of course, those Skull Pass bargain armies may not mix well with the new range of stout plastic warriors. A price must be paid for such realistic heads, a price of $50 for your 10 Ironbreakers. For the price of the Battle for Skull Pass starter box, you can get a box of them Ironbreakers and a model from the Lords and Heroes selection. Just make sure it's an old beard-with-feet version because the new range go for $6 more. But they are made of plastic now, and that's made from dinosaurs, so it's totally worth the price.

Anyway, here's our $25 Space Marines Stormtalon. We need some Assault Cannons maybe, but I probably have some already. Figgering out the clear plastic canopy could be a bit more challenging, if we didn't have plenty of clear plastic bits of various sizes around here as well. But that's part of the fun. Hungry Ghosts has so many, many vehicles and critters of all sorts to assemble and paint, there's no need to plunk down $45 for a couple of sprues of plastic...sorry, for a multi-part plastic boxed set containing 90(!) components...that's going to sit on a shelf for nobody knows how many years. The thrill of the hunt.....

A Word From Our Sponsor With The Grudge Master

Hungry Ghosts is cranky today due to elevated pain levels that are being very resistant to combative maneuvers. So we will take a small excursion to focus on one of the background players on the Hungry Ghosts team (literally).

 Continuing the tradition of using ancient t-shirts that no longer fit, this year's Hungry Ghosts troopers have been displayed on a 1992 Pantera Cowboys From Hell shirt.

 Wie So... our former field of battle was a Judas Priest Painkiller shirt, from 1990.

But this Rider of the Metal Monster, Breathing Smoke and Fire, due to incarnation in form of a nylon-cotton blend, got rather icky after two years in a basement apartment in Chicago.

The replacement comes from the tour supporting Pantera's second album, Vulgar Display of Power.

This album was renown for, in addition to general awesomeness, the name of its 4th song. Coincidentally, such is the default mood for the Hungry Ghosts army. Though The Grudge Master confidently brings it to a new level of power.

 Purchased at the September 4 1992 concert at the Roseland Ballroom in Manhattan (opening act, a then-unknown White Zombie), Hungry Ghosts wore this shirt at the start of his orientation at college the following day.

This shirt is also the "Diamond" / "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott Memorial Shirt. A powerful influence on the heavy metal guitar sound for over a decade, Dimebag was murdered by an audience member at a Damageplan concert in December 2004 in Columbus Ohio. Three others were killed and seven wounded among the band and audience who did not refrain from acting:

The gunman,  Nathan Gale, shot Abbott 3 times to the head, the third shot killing him instantly. Gale continued shooting, killing three others and wounding a further seven. Gale fired a total of fifteen shots, stopping to reload once and remaining silent throughout the shooting.

Jeff "Mayhem" Thompson, the band's head of security, was killed tackling Gale, as was Alrosa Villa [concert hall] employee Erin Halk. Audience member Nathan Bray was killed while trying to perform CPR on Abbott and Thompson. It was rumored that one crowd member leapt in front of the gunman, saving the lives of several band members. Damageplan drum technician, John "Kat" Brooks, was shot three times as he attempted to get the gun away from Gale, but was overpowered and taken hostage in a headlock position. Tour manager Chris Paluska was also injured.

Seven police officers came in the front entrance, led by Officer Rick Crum, and moved toward the stage. Officer James Niggemeyer came in through the back door, behind the stage. Gale only saw the officers in front of the stage; he didn't see Officer Niggemeyer, who was armed with a shotgun. He approached Gale from the opposite side of the stage to avoid hitting the hostage and fired a single shot just as Gale looked towards Niggemeyer, striking Gale in the face. 

(Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimebag_Darrell).

 

Continuing the spiral of history, Dimebag Darrell and the other members of Pantera recorded Light Comes Out of the Black with Rob Halford of Judas Priest for the 1992 soundtrack to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.

Squats Epic 40K Update

Just a brief update to the Hungry Ghosts revue of the Squats models for Epic Warhammer 40K. Though Hungry Ghosts is on the mission to paint all of the Squats miniatures for Warhammer 40K, he has no foreseeable prospect of assembling and painting an Epic 40K army.

So the Hungry Ghosts Epic Collection is destined to be kept in nice blister packs for posterity.

The Epic 40K models are interesting from a packaging point of view. As the range of miniatures expanded in through the first half of the 1990s, Epic miniatures were produced with a special package insert, despite the fact that the rules for the game remained a sprawling mess. 

Rules were fractured into the Epic Space Marine set, which covered Space Marines, Orks, and Eldar forces, released in 1990, with some cardstock building terrain to fight for.

After that, White Dwarf was a source of regular rules updates to include other major factions – Chaos, Squats, Imperial Guard. Many of these updates were gathered into the Adeptus Titanicus book.

The Epic Titan Legions set came in 1994, with new rules updates. It also brought forth the mighty Imperator Titan and the Mega-Gargants of the Orks, as well as a gaggle of plastic Imperial Knight Titan Paladins (nice bits for Squat conversions). And continued to include not very impressive cardstock buildings.

Entire armies were available for Chaos, Alaitoc Craftworld Eldar,

http://solegends.com/citcat1993/c93582-01.htm

Imperial Guard of Barbarius Prime (with some Ultramarines allies) and Squigbreff's Ork Horde

http://solegends.com/citcat1993/c93583-01.htm

But the Epic Titan Legions rules were not enough. Thus rules supplements appeared for the various faction – Armies of the Imperium, Chaos and Eldar Renegades, and Ork and Squats Warlords (deliberate pairings of ancient enemies), and Tyranid Hive War.

But that is all prelude. Here we have our new additions:

The Overlord Airship in its blister pack.

 The mid 1990s brought full color inserts for the Epic range, displaying the Overlord in glorious assembled and painted form.

So too with the Goliath Mega-Cannon.

– as with the remainder of the Epic 40K models.

 Where's Our Land Train? Yes, We Know Trains Generally Remain Land-Bound.

Meanwhile, both the 40K and WFB miniatures were shafted with most boring packaging, red for new releases and blue for older miniatures, with no inserts. Yawn.

An unwelcome trend toward less and less differentiation for the sake of cheaper printing costs. Echoed by the awful "we're just standing here" plastic troops of the time.

This was a let-down even from the earlier packaging, shown here with the Mole. The Mole came with a small Thudd Gun, making the claim that this was an “Imperial” armament an even more Grudge Worthy action.

 The Imperial Lies did not cease with the new packaging.

Most images are from the 1996 Epic 40K Catalog, which also taunted the Eldar enthusiast with Exodites and new versions of Grav-Tanks and Flyers that would be scrapped when Epic morphed again to become Epic 40000 in 1997.

Thus, our Epic 40K products from the 1990s foreshadowed the packaging for the transformation from metal miniatures to Finecast miniatures of today. Truly an advancement in packaging, as for the rest...

Crimes Against Miniatures: Too Much, Too Little, Too Terrible

Today Hungry Ghosts would like to delve into an important matter that is that barely surfaces within the miniatures painting and collecting communities. We've all seen it. We all say someone else did it. Well, someone else did it, but it's still wrong. Hungry Ghosts is talking about Crimes Against Miniatures.

Gaze upon the Horror. Yes, they are crappy plastic Bloodbowl Orcs. But this shouldn't even happen to crappy plastic Orcs.

But gaze upon the Horror. This is no ordinary accidentally tragedy: Someone had to think up this color scheme - this 6-color scheme. The arms suggest that they knew that Orcs are generally considered to be green skinned. But they picked out the feet for some light blue splatter. Then they just slathered the faces in the same blue as most of the upper body.

Who paints feet special and not faces? Who?

If you have keen eyes, you may see some green upon the neck of the Orc on the right. Yup, neck painted green. Different green than the arms.

Who paints feet and necks special and not faces? Who? Who?

And green, purple, blue, light blue...what clashes with all of these colors? Orange! How about some orange spikes? Ok, could be reasonable. Now that crotch isn't getting enough eyeball time, so let's make it orange.

Who paints crotches and feet and necks special and not faces? Who? Who? Who?

It gets worse. A Dwarf. One strongly suspects that somehow these monsters were meant to be on the same team. Also with 6 colors plotted out. And the face is now picked out to be the same stupid color as the padded shirt? 

Which makes Hungry Ghosts wonder whether the Rogue Trader Space Dwarfs shopped at the same clothier as these Bloodbowl teamsters?

And the bases! But the kicker is that the green Orc skin and Dwarf boots is Elfin glitter metallic green! Glitter skin and bright orange crotches- were these Orcs moonlighting as hookers?

From the same lot of misfit minis, two more Bloodbowl Dwarfs. Now we go from a demented-impressionist-with-no-arms painting style to really-doesn't-give-a-ratlings-ass splatter.

"Mommy we need bumblebee costumes for our school play about aminals and pwants!"

"Gaarggh. Here, yer done. Stop botherin yer Mother durin her date wiv Jack Daniels."

"Is Jack Daniels our Daddy?"

"Might as well be. Sure, Jack's yer dad."

All together now.

What's that? Did someone say "But how can I help fight these Crimes Against Miniatures?"

Glad you asked. For just pennies a day, we can provide a Fire Dragon Firing Squad to melt these pathetic monstrosities into grayish goop. 

Act now! Sanity Points are being drained as we speak!

The Fire Dragons of Craftworld Uacwansu have agreed to volunteer their time to do this dirty but necessary work. They ask only that the cost of Fusion Gun Fuel be reimbursed by your charitable contributions. You won't find that kind of giving spirit just anywhere folks.

So won't you join Hungry Ghosts and these gracious Eldar in combating the scourge of these terrible horrible malicious very-bad-and-not-at-all-good Crimes Against Miniatures? 

Paint jobs so bad they make happy little puppies go blind with a single glance. 

With your help, we can continue our mission to track down and exterminate these woeful beasts wherever they may be. Whether it be paint as thick as rotten mayonnaise, as chunky as chili, inappropriate enamels, oils, or gouache we can end this menace to puppies and art together!  

 "Phallic symbol? What phallic symbol?"

"Never heard of one of those. It is some sort of magic rune?"

"We're just firing our space guns, sir. White hot blasts..."

Too learn more about phallic space guns, please consult your local David Bowie.

Col Iron Beard's Bodyguards, Lt Kipper Kabeljauw

We all know that a warrior as powerful as Col Iron Beard doesn't really need bodyguards. But more Space Dwarfs are Better. Today, the second of Schtarken's wing-dwarfs, Lt Kipper Kabeljauw. Though potent, Iron Beard needs his wing-dwarfs and supporting Khorne Renegades, as he is faced with quite a large group of Champions of Tzeentch and Slaanesh.

In contrast to the usual Hungry Ghosts practice, three of the Chaos Champions were not painted by me (or converted in the case of the winged warrior), but came from the cyberseas of eBay already finished. Except for the disk-rider, who has been on my shelves for many years.

Back to the Squats. Lt Kabeljauw is another of the White Dwarf 108 series of Squat Warriors. Kipper is armed with both a Bolter and a mystery pistol, ensuring that he was dropped from the roster before the 1991 Blue Catalog. Also tough to modify, Kabeljauw was instead painted in a shimmery-zombie style, with the white-on-red eyes of the damned.

Thus, Lt Kabeljauw is the ideal foe for the (never permitted even in the crazy Rogue Trader times) Mind Flayer that has popped up on the battlefield: his zombie-brain is both immune to flaying and hungers for the sweet thought-spaghetti hidden in the head of the Ithilid.

Like the other troopers in Col Iron Beard's command unit, Lt Kipper is in a shooting-while-moving position that fills most of the area of the base, so he was also just given small pieces of debris to pass by on his way to the kill (IG cannister).

To give Kipper his glossy appearance, a smaller range of colors was used, with the metallic tones closer to the color of the clothes, and stronger highlights. The sculpt of the mini also gives it natural shadowing in various locations as well. A similar paint style was used on the Space Pirate Nightwing to a lesser extent.

The equipment on Lt Kabeljauw's back provides the opportunity for the metal of the guns to continue across the shoulders, with the orange gloves and tunic blending with the metal. His blue helmet was given multiple highlight spots to increase the glossy appearance, while his boots almost disappear into the base debris providing a bit of a forward gliding motion to his positioning.

The stance of the WD 108 Squats allows them to be placed as flanking on either side of Col Iron Beard, working with his out-stretched weapons and arms. While his wing-dwarfs take the flanks, Schtarken's pet rats stare-down the enemy with their stern forward gaze.